He opens the door and smiles that smile of his, wide open and inviting. His hug is all encompassing and makes everything right with the world. No matter what is going on in my life his hugs bring everything into the here and now … and all is good.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” he whispers as he takes my hands. “I’ve missed you,” he whispers again as he binds my wrists together. I stand there and let him put the leather cuffs around my wrists. This man, who is so open and loving, has a deep and mysterious side, one that I do not know. This is the man who has greeted me today. “I’ve been thinking about you,” he says as he leads me into the room. He stands and rubs his hands lightly up and down my arms, as if to calm me. His touch moves to my face, my neck, my shoulder and then his lips follow the path of his touch … his touch … does he know how I crave his touch? I have missed this, his touch, his energy. And yet, the energy in the room today is different … I have not experienced this before … he is the same, and yet different, deeper, darker.
Again he whispers in my ear “we’re going to play with energy today, are you ready?” His breath has hit that spot behind my ear … I can’t help but shiver … how does he know? How does he always know what I can’t express? I start to fidget, rocking on my feet, trying to move my hands apart, to quietly test the bonds in a way that he can’t see. He smiles, but makes no comment. He always sees. “I’d like you to stand over there” he says and indicates a spot on the other side of the room. I move to the spot. As I turn around, I see him pulling out white plastic boxes. He lines the boxes up with the covers ajar. Then he take out a number of black leather implements, some thick, some thin. I watch in fascination. What would they feel like? Will he use those on me? Will it be painful? Will it be pleasurable? How I long for the feelings to be pleasurable. I imagine sensations of pain/pleasure, an energy hum moving through my body. I am aware of holding my breath as I watch him. Breathe. I must breathe … in, out … in, out … in, out. I watch as he takes out rope and sets it up. I feel so exposed standing, watching him work. He is so focused, so organized. When he has finished, he turns to look at me. I can see him thinking.
“I’m going to release the cuffs. I want you to undress and when you are finished, I want you to present your hands to me.” Once I’ve undressed he lets me stand there with my arms extended towards him for a moment. Am I begging him to bind me? Yes, that’s what it feels like. After what seems like an eternity, he binds my arms together again. “I’m going to blindfold you. I want you to focus on the sensations you are feeling and I want you to concentrate on breathing.” He turns and places a blindfold over my eyes. “Breathe.” I feel his hands start to move over my body, stroking, pulling at my breasts, more stroking. He stops and then I feel the pinch of the nipple clamps. A sharp tug and I am focused again. I can sense him bending over and then I feel something wrap around my left ankle. “Spread your legs wider.” I do as he asks and feel something wrap around the other ankle. I am spread wide. He strokes my cunt and his fingers come up covered in my juices.
He moves to the couch, sits and pulls me across his lap. I squirm. I have never been in a man’s lap like this. Without full use of my hands and legs I feel awkward and ungraceful. But his hand stroking my cunt is making me forget about any awkwardness. I start to hump his leg. It feels so good. I hump and hump and hump. Ahhhh, already I want to come. These feelings that I have cut off for so many years are re-emerging. I am greedy … I want more, more, more of these feelings.
“No.” He slaps my ass, once, twice lightly, but hard enough to get my attention. “You will not come without my permission. And it will be quite some time before I grant you permission.” I can sense his smile as he says these words. I groan. “We are going to start with a spanking. I want to hear you thank me after each spank.” He starts to finger my pussy and I start to squirm again. “Remember, you do not come without my permission. If you do there will be consequences.” Slap, his hand comes down on my ass. I’m not sure if I like it or not, but he has me so turned on I can feel the vibrations in my clit. Thank you. He waits a moment …. slap, his hand comes down on the other cheek. Thank you. He is slowly increasing the intensity of the slaps as he periodically rubs my pussy. Oh goddess, who knew. Thank you. Pussy rub, slap, thank you, slap, thank you. He continues like this for quite a few minutes, varying the intensity, the timing. Thank you. A strong slap has me trying to close my legs. Thank you. Ahhhh, I am bound open for him. I can’t close to him even if I want to. I am beginning to understand how he can control me … my reactions, my opening and my closing. He takes out a paddle and rubs my ass. The respite is wonderful …. and I am missing the intensity of the spanking. Thank you. Do I really want him to use the paddle on me? Yes, no, thank you. Thwack. Thank you. The sensation is different. Again, do I like it? I think so. It is sensation, a different sensation and I am a sensation whore. He is keeping me turned on, not close to coming, but turned on. A few more paddles, a few more pussy rubs, thank you, thank you, thank you and I start humping his leg again. Oh goddess. I’m not doing it on purpose … my body wants to hump him. I want to come. I’m close to coming. “No.” He stops. “Breathe.”
I want him. I can feel his erection as I lay across his lap. Oh goddess, I want him. I want this man. He pulls me up to my knees and puts a cushion on the floor. I kneel on the cushion with my hands bound in front of me and my ankles bound apart. He stands in front of me and I can smell that scent that is his alone. I use my bound hands to guide him into my mouth. Sucking, licking, sucking, swirling, I want to give him the pleasure that he is providing me. His hands move to my face … holding my head. He starts to fuck my mouth. I can feel myself opening for him. Opening to spirit … how does he do this? I am sucking and humping, sucking and humping. I can hear his breathing quickening. He stops and removes himself from my mouth. I am empty. How can this be? I can sense him smiling. He moves away and I can hear him moving around the room. I feel so empty without him, without his touch.
After a couple of minutes he guides me to standing. He takes my bound hands and attaches them to something … my arms are then stretched over my head. Next he clips the bar to the floor so that my legs cannot move. Again I test the bindings. I can undulate my body, but my wrists are bound tight, as are my ankles. My ass is warm and tender from the spanking earlier. His hands are stroking my body again, up, down, scratching, spreading the energy now that my body is standing. Up, down, stroking, up, down, stroking, scratching my ass. He rubs my pussy … it’s like his touch is filled with electricity. His touch goes straight to my core. “Don’t come without my permission,” he says in my ear as he tugs the nipple clamps. Oh goddess. My body is filled with the wondrous sensation of pain/pleasure. I breathe, deep breathing, in, out, in, out. He pulls harder. Aggghhh. I am panting. He rubs my pussy again and pulls, just a little bit more on the clamps. I am humping his hand. “Don’t come,” he says. My body wants more of this amazing sensation, but if I don’t pull away, I will come. I move my body away from his hand. No, please, I say, I’m going to come, no, please, please, oh please. I’m moaning. He stops and removes his hand from my pussy and drops the chain of the nipple clamps.
“I think it’s time to try something new.” I sense him turning away from me. And then I feel something heavy being placed over one of my shoulders. Is it a flogger? It feels like it. Oh mamma … I have imagined what this might feel like for years. Will the actual sensations meet my expectations? What if I don’t like it? What if it hurts? What if …. I feel the nipple clamp being pulled again. He takes it off my left tit. Arrrrgggg, the blood is rushing in ….. his mouth takes the pain away. “Stay out of your head. I want your mind here, present.” How did he know? He takes the clamp off the other breast. Again his mouth takes the pain away.
I can sense him moving to stand behind me. “I want you to count the strokes,” he says to me. Whizz …. ohhhhh ….one …. whizz …. two, ahhhh ….. three, four … the lashes start coming more quickly .. lightly, but quickly. Does he have two floggers? So fast. I can’t tell. Five, six, seven, eight. I am losing count. The sensation is moving throughout my body … my entire body is alive …. humming energy … humming energy. Nine, ten, twelve. How many? … oh it feels like I’m floating on a wave. Has he stopped already? I think so. He’s in front of me now. “You need to count Vivian, you need to count.” The stroke hits the front of my body. Oh goddess the sensations. Again, my tender breasts are on fire, my belly, my pussy the strokes are hitting my pussy… nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. I’m humping the strokes. I want to come. I’m humping the flogger. I want to come, please let come. The strokes are hard enough to keep me on edge, but not enough … oh goddess not enough … so close … oh please, please, please. “No.” Ahhhhh. How? How can I not come?
I surrender. I can feel my body relax into the strokes. I surrender … his desires, his wants, he controls. I am the vessel; he is the master. He controls my opening, my closing. He controls. How did I not understand this? “Good girl,” I hear him say. “Good girl,” as I surrender into what is.
I am riding a wave of sensation … floating on a wave. The strokes have stopped, but I’m still floating. He removes my blindfold. My ankles are untethered from the floor. I feel an arm come around my back holding me up. The bar is still attached. I cannot close. Next I feel my arms slowly dropping down. I am unsteady. He helps me move to the floor and lays me out. I feel the cold of the lube on my overheated pussy. Will he let me come? I feel his magic fingers enter me. Oh yes. Yes. I start moving. “Not without my permission, ” I hear. Then, “good girl.” I am fucking his fingers, his hand. Oh goddess, please, please, please. Please, may I come, please? I see him smile, a big grin. In his other hand I see the magic wand. He presses it to my pussy. “Yes. Come.” The orgasm rocks through my body. On and on and on and on I am fucking his magic hand, fucking the magic wand. Yes, I am open, wide open, fucking open. oh god. oh god. oh god.
As my body quiets, he takes the bindings off my wrists and ankles. He holds me close. I can feel that my ass is sore. The rest of me? I’m not sure yet. That awareness will come soon enough. For now I need his quiet touch … that quiet connection. “Good girl,” I hear him whisper. “Amazing, fucking, good girl.”
The End (for now)
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